Messages from the Universe

There have been a lot of "things" going on in my life over the past year... Deciding to live our dream and move 6,000 miles away from everything familiar, making that move within 5 months, living in a one bedroom apartment with 2 kids and no oven for almost 5 months while we figured out where to settled down, navigating new bureaucracies and systems - including a health care system that is more foreign to me than anything else, and finally finding a beautiful community and a home - all while being pregnant!

So far, my baby's have been born before that magical "40 week" date, and this time seems to be no different, but the stress has actually been moving my pregnancy along even faster than it's ever been for me. My birthing choices have lead me to homebirth as the best option for me and my family - but safety in homebirthing practices preclude pre-term labor - so if I want to have my baby at home, we have to hang on for at least 3 more weeks! (Bringing us to 37!)

My adventures in bedrest over the past week have actually been enlightening, and I learned something that competely came out of left field, but is so relevant in pregnancy and birth that I had to share it with you.

One of the things I've decided to do to pass the time is to knit a baby blanket, this is my first patterned knitting project - for the knitters out there: until now I've basically been making garter stitch scarves. For you non-knitters, that means I've only been doing one stitch! So for this pattern I had to learn to purl. The pattern goes, knit 4 purl 8... knitting 4 - no problem, but then I got to my first purl and by the end of the row, my string was tangled, the thumb on my left hand was cramping and I was ready to call it a day! Instead of throwing the "blanket" it, I decided to try something else. I went through my yarn stash and found a worsted-weight cotton yarn, and some size 7 needles. I casted on a far amount and just went at it in stockinette stitch (that's where you knit 1 row, and purl the next, it's the one that gives you those neat little "v"s on one side of the fabric!) The first row of purling was just as much of a disaster as the blanket, but after 4 more rows, I was purling like a pro! I made myself a nice little square, bound off and now my baby also has a soft little cotton washcloth!

But that's not the point. The point is that when I first tried that pattern, my hands felt completely awkward, I was in pain, and felt completely discouraged. My truth at that moment was, "I cannot purl. My hands won't do it, I'm not coordinated enough, and there's just no point, because this is one of those (few!) things that I'm just not good at." Two hours later, I was a master purler and the woman who "couldn't do it" didn't exist anymore. My confidence skyrocketted, my pain was gone, and now I've done 12 more rows of the blanket! It looks great!

What does this have to do with birth? Many of us start off our pregnancies, or journey into pregnancy with some fear. Fear around conceiving, miscarraige, morning sickness, pre-natal complications, diagnostic tests and screenings, labor pain, birth, becoming a parent... They may stem from your own previous experiences, second hand stories from you mom or grandmother or friends, books, media - or even straight from your care provider! You may be thinking, "I can't do this! My body just isn't made for it, not every woman can give birth, that's why there are drugs and cesareans," and the internal chatter can go on and on...

But here's the real TRUTH! Pregnancy, labor and birth are just as much a muscular interaction as knitting is, or learning to swim or an exercize or dance routine, or training for a marathon or riding a bicycle. The "pain" associated with childbirth is a muscular pain, not an injury pain like dental work or a broken leg. And just like you wouldn't run a marathon without training - just like you wouldn't take a narcotic towards the end of your aerobics workout to stop the burn - you can train your uterus, you can move with the burn of contractions and work to relieve the intensity. And as you experience these changes in your body, you feel powerful, capable, fearless! (And by the way, feeling a little invincible doesn't hurt when raising kids either!)

The cesarean rate in the US is over 30%. That statistic states that 1 out of every 3 women in NJ is incapable of birthing her baby... how's that for confidence?! If you're not ready to throw the knitted blanket in - if you know you don't want to be in that 30%, but don't know how - I'm here to tell you that you can! And fighting those statistics is as simple as getting the support and information you need to purl that next row! That's what being your Virtual Doula is all about.

Visit me at www.wholebodybirth.com for more information and to find the balanced, evidence-based answers to all concerns, from pre-conception to postpartum!

In service and with love,
~Ayelet